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In the past they rocked
In the past perfect they had rocked
In the present perfect they have rocked
And that's all grammatically correct
In the future they will rock
In the future perfect they will have rocked
But in the present we rock
And that's the better tense
Rockin' in the present tense
This is not for those "about to rock"
Or a statement that "you will be rocked"
This is no promise of future rock
We are not "still rockin'"
We are not making a plea to "keep rockin'"
Past performance is no guarantee of future rockin'
Rockin' in the present tense
Don't take language for granted
Don't be that lazy
Christmas can come every day
When you're rockin' around trees
Rockin' in the present tense
Bill Haley was a hero to most
But he wasn't no Brenda Lee
He rocked his clocks in the future tense --
Time is for sand!
Motherfuck him and Chuck Klosterman
Rockin' in the present tense
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2. |
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I just Googled myself and discovered there is an amazing number of movies that have been made about me: comedies, romantic comedies, thrillers, dramas, documentaries and I have no clue just how many statuettes I must have helped these people win but the number is surely astonishing
I just stumbled upon a top 50 list about myself; it was a remarkable compendium of literature about me: and not even pulp, but actual literature, like classics and literary fiction, novellas, and entire collections of poetry and short stories
I just Wikipediaed myself and learned there are so, so many songs directly or indirectly about me in every genre and across all of the eras, including by not only Bob Dylan himself but even by Bob Dylan's own son
I may not be the most loquacious or well spoken of all the metropolitan statistical areas
But speaking on behalf of myself, I'd like to clear the air about some things
Like for example, when you insinuate that I am "a character in and of itself"
I believe that to a certain extent denies me my proper agency
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3. |
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Were it somehow possible to reanimate this dead heart
It'd take a factory full of Jarvik 7s to salvage any sentient parts
As I'm sure you've noticed I don't usually wear anything on this
sleeve
Hey now hit the right cue on this amazing halftime routine
We could be in music, royalty-free music
We could be in music, royalty-free music
We could swim in music, royalty-free music
We could live in music, royalty-free music
If it served some sort of purpose to plumb the depths of this dead
soul
I'd have to watch a how-to tutorial first, or at least a cat video
Infinite unboxings and countless squirrel memes
Hey now share the playlist, reveal what it all means
We could fly around in music, royalty-free music
We could lie around in music, royalty-free music
We could run aground in music, royalty-free music
We could drown in music, royalty-free music
We could be eating dinner, we could be trying on clothes
We could shivering outside a nail salon, we could be on hold
We could be in music, royalty-free music
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4. |
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I've got a feeling
I've got a feeling deep inside
There's something out there
There's something out there you can't hide
And I can hear them
I hear them listening on the line
There! Can you hear them?
Can you hear them? Please don't lie
No
I know
No
I Know
I've got a feeling
I've got a feeling they don't like
But I can see them
I see them following all my life
And like a dark cloud
Like a dark cloud covering lies
They bring the rain down
Bring the rain down from blue skies
No
I know
No
I know
I've got a feeling
I've got a feeling and it grows
They say I'm crazy
Say I'm a mad man yeah I know
But I can feel it
You're coming 'round now even though
Yeah you can feel it
You're coming 'round now please don't go
No
I know
No
I know
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5. |
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Rains keep coming, I keep running outside
It seems fun and I ain't dumb enough to try right
Can't stop calling
Catch me cause I'm falling
Friendly but I'm finding
Everything appalling
Lie into the night
It's alright
Lie into the night
I know it's not right
The questions keep coming, crisis of conscience cross eyed
Cornering the market, covering the spark that won't fly
All the warm bread
And all my best friends
All your wants wasted
On all the loose ends
Lie into the night
It's alright
Lie into the night
I know it's not right
We all get hungry hanging round a right now
The taste ain't bitter but I can do better than the next noun
Find a distraction
Attracted without traction
Distance in the difference
Fuckin' up my fractions
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6. |
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Fully prepared to walk this back
You come armed with sets of facts
Hot takes so unassailably correct
Air melts at points they intersect
I do see what you mean
You rule the world from inside your own meme
Speech bubbles crowd around you
Escape the earth under a word balloon
All of which is to say
I am hearing what you say
Crystal clear and plain as day
So much so I get a big headache
And by "headache" I mean surely a tumor
A malignancy leaving very little room for
Limited reserves of precious mental space
Resist, lest the rest gets displaced
If it were cancer it'd be California cancer
The kind of cancer for which the State of California demands there be an answer
Sheets are white and beets are red
Bypass the punchbowl and shit the bed
Abandon all idiom ye who enter here
Shrink down to nothing and disappear
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7. |
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Is he a post-season pitcher or a pitcher with a good postseason?
WIP said he was in too long but I'm sure Charlie had his reasons
The right teams are playing; the wrong one keeps on winning
While Fox relies on cheesesteak B-roll every fucking half inning
You can buy World Series like you can buy mayoralties
And when you tire of the taxes there you can buy in Broward County
After you go up two to one here you assume you got it made
But save some of that hot air for your Thanksgiving Parade
Remember Ray Rhodes equate losing at home to robbery and rape?
He said, "I don't like people breaking into my place and sodomizing my wife and kids and loading their car with my stereo and TV
I don't like that and that's what this is like to me"
So sure, I guess all told at least it beats 1993
Fuck Joe Carter, fuck Curt Schilling
Fuck Tom Hanks, fuck Denzel, fuck Bruce Springsteen
And the tired way they symbolized a dying city . . .
Demme's pre-Rendell metaphor paved the way for Bruce's lazy songwriting
If you are the first one up try being useful, change some clocks
Turn back the cuckoo on the wall, it's another fucking fall
Lurk downstairs in your bare feet, watch cartoons there with your
wife's niece; you still live with your in-laws, it's another fucking fall
Some places leaves drop from trees -- there’s nothing to rake on this bare street
The wind outside is whipping raw, it's another fucking fall
Another season, another slide, winter waits on the other side
Defeat sticking in your craw, it's another fucking fall
If you are the first one up try being useful, change some clocks
Congress always fucks time up, Congress always fucks time up
Another season, another slide, winter waits on the other side
Defeat sticking in your craw, it's another fucking fall
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8. |
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Finding faith in a fallen man
The lies a liar holds in hand
Trust and truth are a moving mark
Dust and ash and a death in the dark
Joan of Arc alone in the dark
Joan of Arc was the start
Joan of Arc oh she's so smart
Joan of Arc with a spark
The grace of God and bishops bought
The grace she never got
Tricks of trade, the trap well laid, trousers tripped our maid
Lafayette hadn’t come yet when Joan of Arc was the start
Denis dancing in the dark, held his head on his heart
Joan had visions in her heart, Joan of Arc was the start
Joan, her visions fought hard, hard high on a pyre
High on a pyre
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9. |
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Son, young son, dear boy the time has come
To reveal unavoidable truths like so much unwanted hair
Odds are cold, hard; neutral, amoral and complicit in cosmic fraud
None or never the less: they'll dare you to dream big
A word about claw games: no one in the history of the world ever conquered the claw game
Thus, all the dusty shit languishing in the bins
And now, if I may, move on to the lottery and the inherent immorality of state-sponsored gambling
About which, it is simple: You can't lose if you refuse to play
Odds are cold, hard; neutral, amoral and complicit in cosmic fraud
But look, who are any of us to tell you not to dream big?
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10. |
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We only look for what we're looking for
Like "life in these times" is just an online store
And the feeling it gives to find the great big "X"
Is enough, no need to dig for what we expect
To find once we plant and let the flag unfurl
That's why he only sung about Jessie's girl
Didn't bother to ignore his friend and get her name
To have and see and want is all the same
We look up and only see the fall of man
Look down to think "Well, he's done the best he can"
And when we strain, we can barely make what's it for
But we squint 'cause the air's so thick with all this metaphor
Like sad sacks looking guilty fishing payphones for change
Hayseeds hazing hayseeds in this transient age
Some friends are midnight and some are eight
The fact we think we're gods, and god is good, and god is great!
So ask me, What if you were right?
And I'll say, "Darling, let's see wonderful tonight"
See, we end up seeing only what we want to find
And end up missing everything we've left behind
In the wake of good-and-bad and what's in between
Leaving us open to fuck up everything royally
And when we see billboards for buildings in areas
Right enough to convince the right people to marry ya
Remember, let's aim high but punch below our weight
Because Life is Good, and we are great
So ask me, What if you were right?
And I'll say, "Darling, let's see wonderful tonight"
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11. |
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I, looking at life through my one red eye
I see it all and beyond into a new breed I belong
With my mind
My long lifeline has been taxing my mind
And I start to see the signs that I'm alive
With my mind
With my mind
My sleeping friends know what I know
And I'm so sad to see them go but I don't mind
Carrying on all alone with the lies that I have told
With my mind
With my mind
I can see that you are upset
And I'd ask you not to forget that I'm alive
I'm feeling guilty and afraid
I feel the mess that I have made
With my mind
With my mind
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12. |
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You certainly cannot skate
In any sort of animal herd
But you can at least politely skirt
That steady stream of commuters
These lovely, competent folks
Their lanyards dangling work IDs
Pressed into duty
Serving this economy
You certainly cannot skate
On any sort of wheel
What would the Christmas card list think
If we somehow got you killed?
That's not to kill the joy
Stay-at-home or say don't bother
Don't blame the boy
He spent a lot of time with a neurotic father
Everybody loves Mr. Kiddo
He's Mr. Kiddo
He's Mr. Kiddo
Everybody loves Mr. Kiddo
He's Mr. Kiddo
He's Mr. Kiddo
Shopkeepers gush and the world's made glad
To thine own self stay bad
He's ostentatious dad
Everybody loves Mr. Kiddo
He's Mr. Kiddo
He's Mr. Kiddo
Elderly neighbors trust he knows just what to do
To thine bad self stay true
Big bumptious kangaroo
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13. |
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You want to see my moves?
You mean my one big move?
Read: like my only move
Dancing to be polite
Dancing to be polite
Rock those extremities
That much is clear to me
But feet were made for fear
Hands are for holding beer
Dancing to be polite
This could be middle school
Panhandle spring break pool
Like 1999
Even your wedding night
Dancing to be polite
I see you staying strong
The length of a Prince song
Some partners grind their watch
Others check their crotch
Dancing to be polite
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14. |
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I made terrible art after 9/11
To never forget all those virgins in heaven
Back then they'd cry if you just follow the letter
I'm not ashamed to say my art never got any better
I made terrible art back in 2004
A one-act play called "The Sorrow of Young Al Gore"
"Here Bush Lies," it was a rock opera score
And something about John Kerry's windsurfing board
I made terrible art about financial crisis
Corporate greed and falling house prices
Then the party was on as if the Miley were Cyrus
But if only we saw the creeping onset of ISIS
I made terrible art after the '16 election
About unbreakable ceilings and all that orange aggression
I could care less than to re-learn the lesson
And it's clear as glass upon further reflection: I make terrible art!
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